“Hey! Learn our syntax here.”
- zoom
- jpg (152 KB)
- cred: P.P.
2.7K
- ↓ 50.22
- ꩜ 72.21
- ↑ 189.00
Pokémon Power ⇢ Summon Minions
When you play Dark Dragonite from your hand, search your deck for up to 2 Basic Pokémon and put them onto your Bench. Shuffle your deck afterward.
{C}{C}{C}{C} → Giant Tail : 70
Flip a coin. If tails, this attack does nothing.
illus. Mitsuhiro Arita · LV.33
External: Bulba ↗ · #ad / Affiliate Links: TCGplayer ↗, cardmarket ↗, Amazon ↗, eBay ↗
Sometimes called “The God of Destruction.” Its wings are able to support it in spite of its massive weight.
reshikrom64
I like how more recent Stage 2s have more than double the HP of this.
coolestman22
Let’s not forget better attacks.
reshikrom64
True that.
HEZ
This wasn’t good even then. You just stop at Dark Dragonair.
Blob Takeshi
Or use it to get Dratini, if you pulled a spare Dragonair.
Pokémon 31337
Basics now have more than that :p
John Titor
It’s Saturday morning at the local league. I woke up on the wrong side of bed today, and I just feel groggy, and this match isn’t gonna get the old heart racing any time either. Whoopdie-do that this guy just used Energy Removal on me, they’re running a Do the Wave deck and I’m running a Haymaker deck with a Hitmonchan as my Active Pokémon. Yeah, sure, their bench is full, and my Hitmonchan is as asleep as I am, but I just drew a Full Heal. I hit them with Jab.. their Wigglytuff will be dead next turn.
Ah, they’re retreating. To that Dark Dragonite? Really? Sure, it resists Hitmonchan, but do they really want to play coin flips on Giant Tail? Oh, I see. They’re switching in another Wigglytuff. Doesn’t matter, they’re one Energy too short to use Do the Wave this round. They announce “Summon Minions” and put 2 Chansey on their bench. A Wigglytuff in active, and on their bench is another Wigglytuff that’s half-dead, a Dark Dragonite, 2 Chansey, and another Wigglytuff with a DCE attached. What kind of crackpot deck..
They attack me with Lullaby and end their turn. That’s fine with me, because to start my turn I draw a Full Heal. Attach a Lightning Energy to a benched Electabuzz, and call out Jab. 40 damage. They’re dead next turn. Didn’t….wasn’t I just in this position a turn ago? How tired am I.
Ah.. they’re retreating. To that Dark Dragonite? Sure, it resists Hitmonchan, but but do they really want to play coin flips on Giant Tail? Oh, I see. They’re switching in another Wigglytuff. Doesn’t matter, they’re one Energy too short to use Do the Wave this round. They announce “Summon Minions” and put 2 Chansey on your bench. A Wigglytuff in active, and on your bench is are 2 Wigglytuff that’re half-dead, a Dark Dragonite, 4 Chansey. What kind of crackpot deck..
Wait a minute. 4 Chansey?
“I use Do the Wave. Your Hitmonchan is knocked out.”
They draw a prize. What is going on? I race to understand…hold on, now. There are 7 Pokémon on their bench, that’s not right.
“Yes it is. Summon Minions lets me put 2 Pokémon on my bench each turn.”
Well, no. You can’t use Summon Minions if your bench is full.
“It doesn’t say that.”
Alright, but it’s just one of the rules of the game, isn’t it? He knows very well there’s tons of cards that don’t let you overfill your bench ––
“Dark Dragonite does.”
Finally, for the first time today, I’m beginning to feel a pulse in my own body. This guy is really gonna do this.
“I’m not doing anything. Pick an active Pokémon.”
Tch. Fully awake now, I wave down the judge. It’s Mike. Mike knows me. But he doesn’t really understand me today – he’s staring at me like I’m speaking a whole other language. Trying to recollect what just happened the last few turns and failing, I become flustered and just point at his bench.
“Yeah, and?”
Come on Mike. You can’t overfill the bench.
“Dark Dragonite doesn’t say you can’t.”
This is ridiculous, Mike. Can you check with someone? Fine, whatever. I just want this to be over. I can still win. I Professor Oak, use an Itemfinder, all to get 4 Defender on my Hitmonchan. I use Jab, it’ll be dead next turn.
You draw a card and – Mike.
Mike!
Mike. Come on. Come on, Mike. He can’t use Summon Minions again. This is bullcrap, Mike. Pull out the rulebook! Pull it out. The bench is full. Mike. Come on. You know you can’t – shut up. Oh, you shut up too. You’re cheating and you know it and the last thing I need is you gloating because Mike apparently can’t read past a third grade level. Screw this. You guys suck
—
It’s been over 20 years since that conversation. Sometimes I still think about that match.
It’s hard not to. I face it every day. My job is working at a Pokémon card factory where all we do is print Jungle Wigglytuff.
You see, after that match happened and Mike decided Dark Dragonite could overload the bench, Wigglytuff didn’t just sweep competitive Pokémon TCG, it swept the world. Do the Wave was so broken that Jungle Wigglytuff became more valued as a physical currency than – what, the US dollar? Nobody has used the US dollar in years. They don’t even print it anymore. The global reserve currency is Jungle 16, holofoil Wigglytuff. Sometimes you’ll see people use the nonholo, 32, for some smaller stuff like downpayments on a home. Here and there. All this is backed by the “Dark Dragonite standard,” where the Federal Reserve keeps millions of copies of Dark Dragonite behind lock and key at Fort Knox. If anyone ever doubts the viability of Do the Wave as an archetype, they release a few Dark Dragonite onto the global financial markets. They say it stabilizes “market confidence,” but the guys on the news say we’re headed for a recession. The raw damage Do the Wave is capable of is too high. “Inflation” is what they call it. I always ask people, is that some kind of sick joke? About how Wigglytuff is a balloon Pokémon? My life isn’t a pun.
You know, all this was really a perfect storm. The kids playing Dark Dragonite were literate enough to play the TCG competitively at organized league on the weekends, but sometimes I wonder, what if those kids who never bothered to play the cards the way you were supposed to had somehow influenced the world? Like, I remember at school sometimes, the kids who didn’t understand how Energy attachments worked – what was that one card? The orange lizard? They always thought it was the most powerful attack because Fire Spin did 100 damage.
I wonder what it would be like to live in the world where people misunderstood how that card worked instead of Dark Dragonite.
Kavross
“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for Mike to do nothing.”
Twylis
There’s a reason they call it the God of Destruction.
Mila
Best comment on the history of this site
Tokiwa City Smuggle
I’ll be honest, you had me fooled there!